actress with a serving problem

Its  been great writing about the aspects of my career that I’m working on, I’m setting goals and staying positive. But the challenges are just as real.

I’ve been serving on and off for 8 years. And lets face it, it’s more often on then off. I’m very good at my job and I love the restaurant I’m with. But after a while of working 5 shifts a week, two things inevitably happen. I have lots of money, and am very sad.  Time slips away, and I take few to no steps towards helping myself be an actor. So I’ve made the choice to reduce my availability to just 4 evenings a week, tuesday-friday. I’m keeping my days free to audition, my weekends free to do student films and monday nights to take class. Sounds like I got it all figured out, right? Not quite. Reducing my availability means that when the restaurant is busy, I’ll work 4 nights a week, but when the restaurant is slow, I get a schedule like the one that popped up on my screen this morning:

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I know I’m a valuable employee and am sure my manager would love to give me 4 great night shifts, but he’s got a whole army of people looking to work full time and only so many shifts to schedule. So that gives me one shift next week. One. It’s taking about all I can muster to view that schedule like this:

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And not like this:

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I’m so tempted to run to work, reopen my availability and pay my rent with confidence… but I won’t. Not yet anyway. I can’t expect change if I don’t make change. I need to invest the time into making things happen for myself and I just can’t do that if I’m at the restaurant all the time. I am an actressit’s who I am, how I see things and how I believe I can generate change in the world. It’s just not what I do…yet.